Trying to get by, one day at a time…

It has almost been 2 whole months since the love of my life left me.  Each and every day, I struggle to make it through another day without him.  Some days are easier than others.  I try to keep as busy as I can.  Other days, I can barely get out of bed, and have to excuse myself at work to run to the bathroom when I can’t hold back the tears any longer.

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Something that has brought me some added joy to my life is a little ball of fur named Linus.  This little love came into my life when a girl I work with nursed him back from the brink of death.  I wasn’t planning on getting another cat, the idea of adopting him literally never occurred to me.   One day I jokingly said that I would take him…and within a week, that joke became a reality.  It sounds silly, but with all of his health issues…adopting him that quickly was one of the most impulsive things that I have ever done.  He makes me laugh every day.  He gives the sweetest little kisses.  Most importantly…he has changed the entire dynamic in my house.  Frenchie has someone to play with and cuddle with, and Burger can choose when he wants to join in, instead of having Frenchie continually try to play with him when he would rather not.

2Frenchie is probably the sweetest kitty I’ve ever had.  She is such a shy little girl, and the fact that she loves me and trusts me so much warms my heart so much.  I love seeing her personality grow every day, as she grows more into herself.  She is very slowly starting to learn that not everything is scary.  She doesn’t hide from my parents anymore when they come over, and she spent most of the night out with me when I had some friends over the other night.

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Burger is doing a lot better.  He still keeps to himself a lot since Oreo left us, but he’s starting to snuggle me again and isn’t hiding in the cat carrier every day anymore.  I tried switching him to a new food (Hills W/D), and aside from the first few days when his system was getting used to it; he has been doing REALLY good!  He’s only thrown up a handful of times (instead of every day like before), and just seems to be healthier and happier.  I’m hoping this kick of health sticks around for awhile.

Long story short, this shirt more or less describes my daily life.

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I still find myself talking to Oreo every night.  I wake up a lot of times and panic because he’s not next to me, before remembering that he’s gone.  How much more time has to go by before I remember what happened?  I just want to see those eyes of his. I want to step over him on my way to the bathroom in the middle of the night but he’s not there. I still step automatically thinking he will be. Where are you, Oreo? Why aren’t you here? My heart hurts so much. You were my heart. Without you what am I meant to do? Someone has to tell me.

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I love you. I miss you.

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2 thoughts on “Trying to get by, one day at a time…”

  1. Thinking of you Amy <3 I never got to meet Oreo but I was there with you, rejoicing in the good and happy times and crying in the sad and dark times. My heart goes out to you. I've only ever had to go through it once, but I know that having 3 dogs there will come a day when I must again and I'm terrified. When we had to put our dog down in highschool it was the worst emotionally, I had gotten him only a few months after my dad passed and it took me a solid year to start recovering. Having kids now and my fur babies, I can compare them as all my children, its different of course, but really just the same in many ways. I can't tell you that I know your pain, it's been a long time for me. I do know that it does get easier, I can't say when or that it's going to be easy getting there, but one day I promise you it will start to hurt less.

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