The Fun Days Of Fall…

Just some random ramblings as we finish up what will likely be the last nice day of fall…
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Every warm day in the spring and the fall would always be Oreo’s favorite days for walks.  Not too hot that he’d tire out too quickly, not cold enough where he’d refuse to leave the house.  I really miss those walks.  I tried taking Skai for a walk today, she lovedddd running around the beach playing with Riley (the dog next door).  Walking, though…apparently it’s not one of her strengths.  The furthest we made it was just two houses down before she’d turn around and start doing zoomies around the beach.  Also, much like Oreo, Skai is apparently afraid of water!  I had thought that since she loved playing with Riley so much, she’d chase her right into the water.  Every single time, she’d put the brakes on , refusing to go any further than the shoreline.  Silly dogs!

 

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Last night I had a “girls night” with some of the girls from work.  It made me realize how much I miss nights like that.  I used to have dates with friends at least once weekly, but with working two jobs and having Oreo and Burger so sick, it kind of got pushed to the side. I hadn’t realized just how isolated I had become.  With Oreo gone now, and my being down to one job, I have more free time.  I still have a really hard time spending the night anywhere but home since Burger still needs a lot of care, but I really need to start opening up my social calendar instead of turning things down in favor of watching tv and sleeping.

 

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Speaking of Burger…this picture is from right after he threw his bloodclot.  I forget how chunky he used to be!  He’s so much bonier now…I think large in part to his GI issues.  His bloodwork always comes back pretty normal, but I worry about his body not absorbing nutrients like it should.  I remember this day…we’d put him in what used to be our biggest run at work.  He was coming with me every day, making himself cozy wrapped up in blankets, and enjoying watching all of the cats and dogs that came in every day.  On this particular day, we had locked the doors and I was doing cashup for the night when I looked up and saw this guy strutting past me.  He had jumped over the top of the cage and decided that he wanted to explore a bit!  It was at that moment that I knew that I had to do whatever it takes to make sure that he was okay.  He wasn’t done living his life, and I wasn’t going to stop fighting for him until he told me he was ready to go.  Three years later, here we are…he’s still not back to normal and has some days where he gets really sick, but overall, he’s my happy little boy.  He’s really starting to warm up to Skai, as well.  She’s very gentle with him, and he even started to lick her nose a bit today before he realized what he was doing.

 

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I successfully made it through yet another wedding season!  While I’m beyond happy for all of my friends who have found their way to marital bliss, I do tend to feel pretty out of place.  My dad has taken to the task of “finding Amy a boyfriend”.  Any time he goes anywhere, he insists by telling me about some random guy he met and how he thinks that I should go back to the store/lawyers office/doctors office/etc to meet them for myself.  When he was throwing my mom a surprise squaredancing birthday party, he even said “it would be good for you to go!  Maybe you’ll meet a boy!”  I think he was a little disappointed when he saw that the youngest “boy” there was probably in his 50s.  I don’t think he realizes that it’s not something I want.  Sure, every now and then I wonder if I’ll ever get my “happily ever after”, but if I don’t…that’s okay too.  I don’t feel the extreme desire to meet someone, get married, and have kids like most people do.  I do okay by myself.  A big chunk of that is based on my complete inability to trust anyone.  That, coupled with my anxiety levels going through the roof, have made me decide that maybe it’s time to look into counseling again.  It can’t hurt…right?

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On that note, I think it’s time to head to sleep.  Shoot some fun fall activities my way!  I didn’t get to really celebrate the Halloween season last year, and I want to make up for it this year.

Goodnight <3

Life Changes and Happy Cat Month!!

Did you know that September is ‘happy cat’ month?  How fitting that it’s also my birthday month!  In the spirit of always making sure that my kitties as as happy and healthy as possible,  I wanted to start at the root of the issue – making sure that I’M happy as well.

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Earlier in the month, I made the decision to resign from Chase bank.  While I had always had high hopes of climbing the ranks, I just was no longer happy there.  With each passing day, my job satisfaction level decreased, and I just knew that it was time to get out.  Starting October 1st, I’ll be going back up to a full time position at Greece Animal Hospital.  Working at the vet is by far the most difficult job I’ve ever had; but it’s also the only one where when I leave at the end of the day I feel like I make a difference.  GAH has always been my home.

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Of course, this will lead me with lots more opportunity to pet-sit!  I already do it fairly frequently, but would occasionally turn down gigs because of my crazy schedule between both jobs.  Now I don’t have to worry about that – I’ll be back down to working 40 hour weeks, and on long days I can even bring those pets into work with me if need be!  I am also considering using my newly found free time to take some classes – I’ve been especially thinking about animal behavior and cooking.  I nearly set the microwave on fire at the bank today trying to make popcorn, so I figure it’s time to figure out what the heck to do in the kitchen.

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To keep my kitties entertained, I’ve been buying lots of different toys, treats and food for them.  I even signed up for Meowbox – so I get a box full of new toys and treats (and even kitty wine) for my fur babes every month.  Of course, in typical cat fashion, their favorite toy is the cheapest one —

 

My birthday is coming up next week – Wednesday to be exact. I’ll be turning 31.  It seems completely insane to me – I can’t believe that a DECADE ago I was counting down the days to celebrate my 21st birthday.  Time goes by so fast, it’s crazy.

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My parents added a new member to our family last week; a sweet little girl named Skai.  She was rescued from Puerto Rico, and is so timid and shy, but bonded immediately to my mom and dad especially.  She reminds me so much of Oreo in some ways – her looks, obviously, the way she walks, the way she acts with the cats. Yet in other ways they are SO different, and she reminds me of just how perfect Oreo was, and how lucky I was to have him.  I still miss him so much every day, and still always wonder how long it takes for the sheer pain of heartbreak to start to subside.

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<3

Trying to get by, one day at a time…

It has almost been 2 whole months since the love of my life left me.  Each and every day, I struggle to make it through another day without him.  Some days are easier than others.  I try to keep as busy as I can.  Other days, I can barely get out of bed, and have to excuse myself at work to run to the bathroom when I can’t hold back the tears any longer.

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Something that has brought me some added joy to my life is a little ball of fur named Linus.  This little love came into my life when a girl I work with nursed him back from the brink of death.  I wasn’t planning on getting another cat, the idea of adopting him literally never occurred to me.   One day I jokingly said that I would take him…and within a week, that joke became a reality.  It sounds silly, but with all of his health issues…adopting him that quickly was one of the most impulsive things that I have ever done.  He makes me laugh every day.  He gives the sweetest little kisses.  Most importantly…he has changed the entire dynamic in my house.  Frenchie has someone to play with and cuddle with, and Burger can choose when he wants to join in, instead of having Frenchie continually try to play with him when he would rather not.

2Frenchie is probably the sweetest kitty I’ve ever had.  She is such a shy little girl, and the fact that she loves me and trusts me so much warms my heart so much.  I love seeing her personality grow every day, as she grows more into herself.  She is very slowly starting to learn that not everything is scary.  She doesn’t hide from my parents anymore when they come over, and she spent most of the night out with me when I had some friends over the other night.

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Burger is doing a lot better.  He still keeps to himself a lot since Oreo left us, but he’s starting to snuggle me again and isn’t hiding in the cat carrier every day anymore.  I tried switching him to a new food (Hills W/D), and aside from the first few days when his system was getting used to it; he has been doing REALLY good!  He’s only thrown up a handful of times (instead of every day like before), and just seems to be healthier and happier.  I’m hoping this kick of health sticks around for awhile.

Long story short, this shirt more or less describes my daily life.

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I still find myself talking to Oreo every night.  I wake up a lot of times and panic because he’s not next to me, before remembering that he’s gone.  How much more time has to go by before I remember what happened?  I just want to see those eyes of his. I want to step over him on my way to the bathroom in the middle of the night but he’s not there. I still step automatically thinking he will be. Where are you, Oreo? Why aren’t you here? My heart hurts so much. You were my heart. Without you what am I meant to do? Someone has to tell me.

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I love you. I miss you.

A letter to Oreo…

Hi Oreo <3

It’s been almost seven weeks now and I still can’t believe you’re not here.  Where are you?  Are you here and I just can’t see you?  I find myself hoping that you are.  That you’re here and you know how much I love and miss you because I do, so so much.

I stand staring at your picture that now hangs on the wall everyday. You were so handsome, you were the most amazing dog, ever.  Why did you have to go?  I don’t know if my heart is ever going to mend, it doesn’t feel like it.

I love you. I miss you.